Daisies and Shit A Daisies and Shit Production

I Probably Would Have Just Bought a Shirt

If approximately half a cent of every dollar I pay in Federal taxes goes to fund NASA, as has been stated by Neil deGrasse Tyson, I dropped just over $25 into their budget last year.  What did I get for my $25?  I got this:

Why, yes... that IS a freakin' color photograph of the craggy surface of a planet casually circling the sun more than 33.9 million miles* from Earth.

Fuck.  Yeah.

Seriously, we're having some kind of freaky robot party on the red planet so you'll all have to excuse me if I take just a little break from bitching about the annoyingly large segment of our population busily stuffing their faces with delicious waffle fries as a testament to their obsession with the inevitability of consenting men touching each other's penises with wedding ring adorned hands to marvel at the fact that we live in the fucking future and SCIENCE. IS. AWESOME.

*33.9 million miles is the closest Mars will ever be to Earth, at least without the addition of some seriously fucked up disaster that would most certainly take emphasis off any trifling disagreement over distance measurements.  33.9 million miles distance represents a scenario in which Mars would reach its perihelion, or closest point to the sun, at the same time Earth reached its aphelion, or farthest point from the sun.